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Fun with Angry, Yelling, Legalistic Christians who Know Everything

This week I attended a Catholic Mass. Outside of the Mass, a man, named Tom Elwood, held a sign that read, God Kills, Repent on one side and Jesus Caused 9/11 on the other. As people drove to Mass, he yelled at them telling most of them they were going to burn in hell. After the service, I walked over to hear his shtick. “This Church has departed from truth and now are an apostasy. The entire denomination from the Pope to the youngest member, if they stay Catholic will die and go to hell. The Catholic Church has completely departed from the Christian faith and is a wicked tradition,” said Elwood. “If you are Catholic you are going to burn in hell.”

While I was there, two guys walked over to confront Elwood. As they requested he leave, Elwood shouted louder. “You are going to burn in the lake of fire if you don’t leave the Catholic Church.” One of the men became very angry and told him he wasn’t wanted there and told him to leave. After they walked away, Elwood said, “See how he got irate, it is because he hates God and God hates him.”

A black woman walked by and tried to grab the sign from Elwood. Elwood told the woman she was a sinner who was going to burn in hell. The woman yelled, “I’ll break you.” She picked up an item on the ground to throw it at Elwood. A person in a car told the woman it was not worth it to do this, so she put down the item and walked away.

After the commotion, Elwood handed me a pamphlet put out by a true church (www.atruechurch.info). On the back of the pamphlet, a list of false teachers were listed, such as Charles Spurgeon, Chuck Smith, Miles McPherson, Billy Graham, John MacArthur and dozens more.

I asked Elwood, if all these people were false teachers of the Christian faith, how can we know what is the true way to practice faith. “We can know, because the Bible is true. In 1st Corinthians chapter 2 verse 16, we are told (Christians will) have the mind of Christ.” I asked Elwood did he believe Jesus Christ was omniscient. Elwood said yes. I asked, if Christ mind was omniscient are you omniscient? Elwood said no. How can you have the literal mind of Christ then? Elwood got angry at me and told me I was going to burn in hell, he took his sign apart and walked to his car to leave.

I guess the body of God has to have an asshole to function…

4 Comments

  1. Your final line is downright offensive. How can you use such language?

    What did that line achieve? I’ll tell you what it achieved. It put a big smile on my face and made me laugh …. a lot.

    In one short line you managed to turn me around from being angry that morons like that are out causing people to become hardened to the gospel to remembering how much bigger God is than people like that.

    Thanks for your post, for your sensitive handling of Elwood and your ability to put a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

  2. And a bile duct by the sounds

  3. When god says to do something and people dont like it they call it legalistic.

  4. Todd MItchell

    June 2, 2010 at 7:05 am

    Dorothee,
    What is your point? People who defend legalism are overflowing with Pride and want to place themselves above all other people, all other Christians. They are completely blinded by their overflowing pride and somehow find personal comfort in their extremely judgmental self-righteousness.

    THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE JUDGE OF MAN. DO NOT FORGET THAT WHEN YOU ARE SPOUTING OFF AT PEOPLE TELLING THEM THEY ARE WRONG AND ARE GOING TO “BURN IN HELL”. HOW RIDICULOUS!! THESE PEOPLE ARE WEAK, USUALLY MENTALLY ILL, AND JUST WANT ATTENTION.

    Also, you should spell God with a capital “G”. As in God Bless Everyone.

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