Comments on: Beyond Self-Centered Church Greetings http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/ Church Planting, Technology & Culture Mon, 06 Oct 2008 16:02:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: RC of strangeculture http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-40149 RC of strangeculture Mon, 26 Mar 2007 21:01:03 +0000 http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-40149 It's funny to me in what you determined as your final question. I work in a unique retail enviornment and one of my favorite questions is: "What brings you into (store name) today?" And from there I listen and establish a connection. Good thoughts on self-centered questions churches ask...it's true. How can we connect and serve the needs of people if we never ask a question that gives us a chance to listen to people and hear their needs. It’s funny to me in what you determined as your final question. I work in a unique retail enviornment and one of my favorite questions is: “What brings you into (store name) today?”

And from there I listen and establish a connection.

Good thoughts on self-centered questions churches ask…it’s true.

How can we connect and serve the needs of people if we never ask a question that gives us a chance to listen to people and hear their needs.

]]> By: brad http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-38220 brad Fri, 23 Mar 2007 13:57:42 +0000 http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-38220 drew: i resonate with your church's sensitivity to this issue. i think you're suggestion is spot on. it really shows a keen ability to think critically and deeper, away from where we default most of the time. we really need to evaluate what we do and why we do things in our churches. as you have found, most of the time, it is centered on us. 'younger evangelicals' can pick up in a heartbeat. and they can't stand it... though it may be true that people may not open up, i think even is some people do, it does open up ministry opportunities. way to go... drew:

i resonate with your church’s sensitivity to this issue. i think you’re suggestion is spot on. it really shows a keen ability to think critically and deeper, away from where we default most of the time.

we really need to evaluate what we do and why we do things in our churches. as you have found, most of the time, it is centered on us. ‘younger evangelicals’ can pick up in a heartbeat. and they can’t stand it…

though it may be true that people may not open up, i think even is some people do, it does open up ministry opportunities.

way to go…

]]> By: iCalvinist http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-37779 iCalvinist Thu, 22 Mar 2007 23:34:53 +0000 http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-37779 I like asking "Have you been coming to the church for long?" because I'm fairly new I usually can answer "I haven't been coming that long either." I used it on a middle aged newcomer to the evening service 2 weeks ago. He was about to leave (I had to run/jog across 2 pews to catch him), but when he heard I was fairly new as well and that I could relate to how intimidating it is to be new, he stayed and talked for about 15 minutes. I think it could still be used after I've been here awhile by just honestly admitting I'm not the best at getting to meet everyone in the 5-10 minutes it takes people to leave church. I also use "So how'd you hear about the church?" but I think Drew's suggestion is better (what brought you to out today?) because I'm not really trying to find out if he liked the website. Our website rocks...duh! Moot point. I think a combo of these would work well. I like asking “Have you been coming to the church for long?” because I’m fairly new I usually can answer “I haven’t been coming that long either.” I used it on a middle aged newcomer to the evening service 2 weeks ago. He was about to leave (I had to run/jog across 2 pews to catch him), but when he heard I was fairly new as well and that I could relate to how intimidating it is to be new, he stayed and talked for about 15 minutes. I think it could still be used after I’ve been here awhile by just honestly admitting I’m not the best at getting to meet everyone in the 5-10 minutes it takes people to leave church.

I also use “So how’d you hear about the church?” but I think Drew’s suggestion is better (what brought you to out today?) because I’m not really trying to find out if he liked the website. Our website rocks…duh! Moot point. I think a combo of these would work well.

]]> By: Wendy http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-36482 Wendy Wed, 21 Mar 2007 00:44:21 +0000 http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-36482 Drew - And you would learn a lot more about me when you fine out that I don't have my driver's license. So the next question you would need to ask is "Who did I come to church with?" Then I am assuming that this question would be followed by "And how did you come to know ('insert person's name here')?" So as you can see "The car" is the perfect answer to your original question. :D Drew - And you would learn a lot more about me when you fine out that I don’t have my driver’s license. So the next question you would need to ask is “Who did I come to church with?” Then I am assuming that this question would be followed by “And how did you come to know (’insert person’s name here’)?”

So as you can see “The car” is the perfect answer to your original question. :D

]]> By: D. Goodmanson http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-36301 D. Goodmanson Tue, 20 Mar 2007 16:27:32 +0000 http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-36301 Luke - I think it's all in the tone. First, I don't lead with this question, I get to know them a bit first. And the emphasis isn't on what brought YOU to church? Wendy - See if I asked you, I'd learn a lot about you if you answered, "the car". It worked! Luke - I think it’s all in the tone. First, I don’t lead with this question, I get to know them a bit first. And the emphasis isn’t on what brought YOU to church?

Wendy - See if I asked you, I’d learn a lot about you if you answered, “the car”. It worked!

]]> By: Wendy http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-36141 Wendy Tue, 20 Mar 2007 10:02:01 +0000 http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-36141 If someone asked me "What brought you to church today?" My replied would be "The car." Seriously though, I've never really thought about the questions we ask people when they come to church. I guess there are up and down sides to most of these questions we ask. If someone asked me “What brought you to church today?” My replied would be “The car.”

Seriously though, I’ve never really thought about the questions we ask people when they come to church. I guess there are up and down sides to most of these questions we ask.

]]> By: archshrk http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-35736 archshrk Mon, 19 Mar 2007 18:06:41 +0000 http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-03/19/beyond-self-centered-church-greetings/#comment-35736 One of the benefits of asking "how did you find out about our church?" is that it is a safe question. First time visitors may not want to open up so quickly and this question allows them to answer without being rude but also opens the door for more conversation. The downside to "What brought you to church today?" is that it may seem to challenge their right to be there - "what's your business here?" kind of thing. I agree we need to listen more and try to learn more about them, but they also need to learn about us. I stopped asking how they found out about our church since over 90% say "the internet". I also stopped asking if this was their first time since too often it wasn't. It was more often 3-6 months, which is unusual since our church isn't so big that someone could visit for 3-6 months and not be noticed (or is it?) I usually lead off with "How long have you been comming?" If it's their first time, they say so. If they've been coming for a while then I learn that too. One of the benefits of asking “how did you find out about our church?” is that it is a safe question. First time visitors may not want to open up so quickly and this question allows them to answer without being rude but also opens the door for more conversation.

The downside to “What brought you to church today?” is that it may seem to challenge their right to be there - “what’s your business here?” kind of thing.

I agree we need to listen more and try to learn more about them, but they also need to learn about us.

I stopped asking how they found out about our church since over 90% say “the internet”. I also stopped asking if this was their first time since too often it wasn’t. It was more often 3-6 months, which is unusual since our church isn’t so big that someone could visit for 3-6 months and not be noticed (or is it?)

I usually lead off with “How long have you been comming?” If it’s their first time, they say so. If they’ve been coming for a while then I learn that too.

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